French Women and the Sensual Art of Sex & Love
Dec 10, 2013 02:07
Paris is known to be one of the most romantic cities in the world, so it's no wonder people look to the French for some tips on the art of love.
French author Sophie Fontanel revealed that she went 12 years without having sex, which she wrote about in her book The Art Of Sleeping Alone, which was described by the New York Times as "very French." In the book, she shares what she learned about sex and sensuality during that time.
Here are some things French women can teach all of us about sex and love:
Here are seven things French women can teach us about sex and love.
1. It's not about the orgasm
In 2012, psychiatrist and sexologist Philippe Brenot published a 300-page report on French women's sexuality titled Les Femmes, Le Sexe Et L’amour. Brenot surveyed 3,404 heterosexual women age 15-80 who were married or in a civil union and who lived with their partner. Seventy-four percent of his respondents claimed they had "no trouble" experiencing desire and pleasure, but only 16 percent climaxed every time.
The results suggest that a majority of French women find sex pleasurable whether or not they orgasm: so it's more about the journey and not the destination.
2. Age is only a number
Data from 2008 reports that 90 percent of French women over the age of 50 are sexually active compared with an estimated 60 percent of American women. Research shows that women over 50 enjoy sex as much as those in their 20s.
3. Flirting is a way of life -- it's not just about sex.
In Elaine Sciolino's book "La Seduction: How The French Play The Game of Life," she explains how la séduction is a crucial element of French culture. But 'seduction' to the French might not mean the same as it does to us.
“Seduction is conversation,” Sciolino told Forbes in a 2011 interview. “It could be a conversation of smell, a conversation of looking. It could be a conversation of speech; it could be a conversation between two diplomats. It is basically making contact with the other person and talking about or sharing what you have in common. Deciding what you have in common and then developing it."
4. The art of the long-term romance.
In 2001, John Gagnon and Alain Giami published an article comparing sex and sexuality in the U.S. and France. Their findings showed that French respondents had sex more frequently and were more likely to be in monogamous, long-term relationships.
In a 2003 interview with Salon, Giami claimed: "The major difference between Frenchwomen and American women can be summarized as follows: The French are marathoners and the Americans are sprinters." Lesson learned - pace yourselves!
5. Marriage isn't the end.
Gagnot and Giami's study found that French people are more likely to be coupled up, but less likely to be married. Giami told Salon: "The French have more 'premarital cohabitation,' 'nonmarital cohabitation' and even 'noncohabiting long-term relations.' Perhaps French people are less likely to think of marriage as a natural step to take before or after moving in together.
"Marriage is not the only honest and responsible way of bonding," Giami explained.
6. Holding back a little can be sexy.
Elaine Sciolino told Forbes about a piece of advice that French singer and actress Arielle Dombasle offered her: "Never walk nude in front of your lover."
There is some sense to this big reveal. "It all has to do with dressing and undressing and secrecy and hiding and revealing," Sciolino clarified.
7. It's totally okay to be the one making the moves.
According to the 2008 Study on Sexuality in France, French women are becoming "increasingly assertive in their sexual habits."
"The good old dichotomy (male predators, females patiently awaiting the warrior's return in front of the cave entrance) is in big trouble," French magazine Le Nouvel Observateur wrote. If a woman wants to initiate something sexual, she should go for it.