Each time Christmas comes, we grovel in a deep puddle of brainjuice thinking "will he like this, or prefer that?". As women, we want to give our man gifts from the heart. But men normally look at gifts as a how-can-I-use-this way, or humorous material. They really don't mean any harm, but it pinches when they find their presents utterly useless to them and makes no difference in their lives. They like generics like shirt, pants, tie, cuff links, cap, cologne, after shave, electronic gadget (which costs a LOT) and well you get what I mean.

All it takes for them to make US happy is

1. Teddy bear
2. Homemade card, or card with a sincere profession of love in it
3. Handbag
4. Purse
5. Clothes
6. Shoes
7. Photo frame with a picture of the both of you
8. Novel
9. Electronics - doesn't have to be expensive at all
10. Perfume

any of the above and SO MUCH MORE!!!

So why is it so difficult to give a man the best Christmas gift ever? I have been thinking, and through experience, I have learned the few things that go straight to a man's heart, up or down, it will be his best Christmas ever. You can choose to do all five, or opt to do one, or two, of the five. I'd say do it all if you have the drive and energy to.

FOOD

As we know this age-old theory actually works, get out your baking materials (and ingredients) and bake him a Christmas cake. It can be a simple Chocolate Cake to a complicated Chocolate Frosted Spicy Ginger Cake. The most important feature of this gift is PACKAGING. You can choose to decorate it with a topping, put it into a beautiful box, or leave it on a decorative platter at his place to surprise him.

If you're feeling cheeky, bake him a gingerbread man cookie with boobs. Or think of something naughty you could shape with a cake. Men love it when women make them good homemade food.But they love it even more if you add a little twist to it.


EMOTIONAL ASSURANCE

Most guys don't need this but it warms their hearts that a girl would put in enough effort to take care of their feelings. Make him a Christmas card. If your skills are limited to that of a 5 year old in the worst craft class, don't fear. This is why the internet is here for you. Dig up on creative ideas online, and if you need to, get someone who's good in arts and craft to help you out. If all fails, there are sets of stickers available where all you have to do is place them on a card, however way you like.

You can also create a scrapbook of his favourite things - cars, vacation spots, casinos - anything he dreams of mostly. Make it sweet, write a note in there telling him how much you'd hope that scrapbook will come true.


USEFUL MATERIAL GIFTS

Men and practicality - this is every woman's brain cracker. Look around him and pick up on what you think he may need. If you notice his love for striped shirts, go out and get him a nice striped shirt he hasn't got. If you realize his sunnies have gotten old, find out what his fave frames are like and get him a pair of new shades. Or if you feel he may need a new after shave, get out and get him the sexiest smell on the market and he'll love you for being thoughtful. If your man doesn't like the usual gifts, get him a photo frame and stick your picture in it (a naughty one would be a better bet if you're sure he'll open it up in private)

Some men also have hobbies and favourite collectibles such as car models, comic character figurines, football memorabilia - if you can get your hands on his favourite thing, he'll remember this Christmas for a long, long time.


SEX TOYS

This Christmas, the only sex toy he's going to get is you. Get out and hunt down the sexiest lingerie you can find (red, red & white, red & green - any combination of Christmas colours). Buy a Santa hat that fits nicely on your head. You don't want to look dopey. If you can get your hands on a pair of red boots with fluffy trimmings and look like a total Santarina, you're ace.

On Christmas eve, tell him to wait outside and chill out but go look for you in the bedroom at 12am. Tell him you want to give him his gift in private. When he walks in, make sure you're sexily dancing, or prepped up on the bed and say something semi-slutty, BUT sexy, like "ho ho ho, merry Christmas baby, ready to unwrap your first gift?" in your lusty voice. I guarantee you'll both be having a jingle ball of a time with his Santa in your chimney and you'll be ho ho ho-ing till New Years.


SPONTANEITY

Holiday seasons are packed up with great holiday vacation deals. Book him a surprise getaway to a nearby location - for after Christmas, and whisk him away. If you are prepared to go the distance, call up his office and ask if they would give him a day or two off work (you could plan a weekend trip away too so he wouldn't have to take leave). Arrange everything and when you have a black and white itinerary, wrap it up in a box and leave it under the tree for him to pick up.

It would help if you discuss holiday surprises with people close to him if you're unsure if he'll appreciate it, just so you know what sort of holiday surprise he'd like. After all, you wouldn't want your holiday to go to waste. For example, you wouldn't want to buy a city tour holiday when he's into beaches. Or you wouldn't want to get a hiker's special for a guy who prefers sipping coffee in different cities.