We all put a little too much pressure on ourselves to always say the
right thing, and often we end up just remaining silent. But sometimes it's better
to say something stupid instead of saying nothing at all, and here's why.
In Psychology Today, David Finch explains how this works based on a conversation he had with his wife Kristen. Although she rarely
complains, he called her crabby once she finally did. And even though he felt it was something stupid to say, it actually led to
Against all odds, I had brightened Kristen's day by calling her out.
What's more, I had somehow invited a dialog that wouldn't have occurred
otherwise: With a surprising lilt in her voice she asked me how my day
was going, I lied by saying nothing of my leg experiment, and just like
that, the frustrations of the morning were behind her.
The point here is that the comment
would at least lead to some sort of discussion, which thus leads to better understanding between the both of them and, hopefully, a better relationship.
Of course, his situation might not apply to other couples. Possible scenarios include Kristen feeling hurt by the comment, or
angry and frustrated. But avoiding
hurting the feelings of others also means avoiding
in getting to know them better. It's how you handle the subsequent moments that really make the difference.