A bizarre assault incident recently took place in Massachusetts. A 22-year-old named John McGuiness reportedly got so mad at his girlfriend after she received a text from another guy while they were together. He decided the most appropriate way of punishing her was by smothering her face with "a pair of designer jeans he had doused in wasabi sauce." People seriously do this?

After the poor woman got a load of wasabi in her eyes, McGuiness proceeded to pour the rest of the spicy sauce in her car. He was later arrested and charged with domestic assault and battery and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Here's hoping that the judge sentences this wacko to have to rub a slice of habanero pepper all over his fingers every time before he pees.